Kiss me, fool
by Tastes-Like-Fry
Summary: Lily never meant to kiss him, she wanted to avoid it at all costs. He was the bullying toerag, the arrogant jock, the class clown, and a sexist pig. Why has he singled out her? Why does she kiss him? Why is his kisses so good? Why does she want more?
1. Entrapment

**Entrapment**

Lily stood, shifting her weight from one sore foot to another, tears flowing down her cheeks, fingers trembling as she clasped her wand and tried for the hundredth time to uncharm the stupid mistletoe.

'Relashio!' She brandished her wand, but nothing happened. _Stupid spell that doesn't work on the stupid mistletoe._

If someone was with her they would have comforted her,that the spell would work when she would study it properly. Probably sometime in third year, but Lily wasn't in third year, she was only in first. And for the first time she was stuck, out of curfew.

Lily sank to the floor and properly cried, she had been there for an hour and no one would think to look for her as she was the only girl in her dorm that stayed at the castle for Christmas, and if a teacher (or worse Filch) found her, she would be in a world of trouble – she had never had a detention before and she was guaranteed one if she was found.

It was a lose-lose situation. And things only got worse.

'Evans? Is that you crying? Are you alright?'

Lily swore under her breath and wiped at her face to clear it of tears. 'Go away, Potter, I'm fine.'

'Uh, you do realise it's past curfew. That's not like you to forget.'

'You realise you're out here too.' She glared at him as he stood in front of her.

He frowned at her, taking in her dishevelled appearance, her green eyes shining with tears stood out against the red of her freckled face. Obviously something was up, but she wasn't going to say anything to him.

The scruffy haired boy shrugged at her. 'Well if you're alright then you don't need me, I'm going to bed.'

Lily watched him as he went, the feeling of dread feeling heavier as he took each step away – he was her only chance. 'Wait! Potter!' She called, hating how desperate she sounded.

James turned to her, eyebrows raised. 'Mmm?'

'I-I'm stuck.'

'Stuck?'

Lily pointed upwards at the mistletoe.

'Oh.' Realisation crossed James' face before it became wrinkled with disgust. 'You want me to _kiss_ you?'

'I don't _want_ you to, but I can't charm it away, and if you don't I'll hang you by your toes in the dungeons.'

'Whoa, Evans, you been talking to the caretaker? Alright fine, I'll kiss you...' he swaggered up to her in what he clearly thought was a suave manner. 'You ready for this?'

Lily grumbled and fumbled around in her pocket for her lip balm and with shaky hands moistened her lips. 'Okay.'

'Okay.'

For a moment, neither was quite sure what to do with their hands. Lily pushed her suddenly sweaty palms into her pockets. 'Okay?' she said nervously, rocking on her heels.

Hesitatingly, James seized her by the shoulders to stop her movement – how could he be expected to kiss a moving target? 'Okay.' He said, more to himself than to Lily, and slowly leant in.

Lily's eyes rammed shut, her lips trembling in anticipation.

The kiss was chaste and soft. Not clumsy as Lily was anticipating. She found herself leaning into the kiss when suddenly it was all over.

She opened her eyes to see James looking slightly pleased with himself. 'That wasn't too bad, was it?'

'Okay, Potter, you tell anyone and I'll break both your legs just before Quidditch tryouts next year.'

'Oh, come on.' James scoffed, 'It was just a little kiss...'

'Would you prefer tibia or femur? Or should I just go for your kneecaps?'

'All right! All right, fine, I won't breathe a word – but you owe me.'

'I owe you nothing.'

The two argued all the way up to common room, only stopping at the foot of the girls' stair case.

Suddenly there was an awkward silence.

'Anyway... thanks.' Lily blushed at the sound of her own voice and quickly scuttled up the stairs to escape him.

'Anytime, Evans!' Came the voice, rather loudly in the empty room.

Blushing furiously, Lily crawled into bed, trying to make sense of the overwhelming and confusing thought she had that perhaps she wanted him to kiss her again, but at the same time wondering what will become of it. She hoped desperately that he never said anything – what would Sev say? He would surely be disappointed with her. But the kiss didn't mean anything, did it?

...

**AN: **Short chapter is short, but awkward first kiss has a spark.

More to come :D


	2. Peer Pressure

**Peer Pressure**

Lily nervously glanced about her. This was surely not an appropriate game, nor was this an appropriate hour. But everyone else seemed enthused, and she would surely be chastised by all her classmates if she were to retire to bed. She supposed, like Mary said, it _was_ Friday night, they could sleep in as much as they wanted to tomorrow.

But did they _have_ to play _this?_

'I'm not kissing _him_.' Marlene said hotly to Alice. 'That's a horrible dare!'

'Kiss Sirius or the compromise.' James teased from the other side of the circle.

Marlene winced, the idea of skinny dipping in the black lake was not an attractive idea. She huffed and grabbed the boy by the wrist. 'Well I'm not doing it here where people are going to perve.' She glared deliberately at Alice before pulling the grinning Sirius Black behind the stairwell.

It was barely five seconds before Marlene reappeared rather red-faced followed by Sirius who was looking slightly disappointed. Lily momentarily wondered if they had kissed at all before Sirius called on her name.

Horrified, Lily was momentarily frozen. Sirius would surly dare her to kiss someone, but worse make her spill any secrets. But above all else she did not want to swim in the lake.

'T-truth.' She stuttered, immediately regretting her decision. Watching Sirius with wide eyes as he pondered what he might ask.

'Who's your crush?'

Unable to help herself, Lily's eyes briefly connected with James'. Blushing furiously, she forced herself to look directly at Sirius. 'Redundant question, dunce, I don't fancy anyone.'

'Liar.' Sirius shot back at her.

'I don't, Black.' Lily shot back. 'And I want to change this to a dare.'

'You chose truth, play by the rules, Evans, or you're going for a dip.'

Lily groaned and closed her eyes. 'Alright, fine. Everyone at Hogwarts is a git, especially you, so I-I'm going to say H-Hopkins.'

'Gregory Hopkins?' James blurted, indignantly. 'The Ravenclaw Quidditch captain?'

'Huh.' Sirius said disappointed, suddenly uninterested. 'I thought you were going to say Snivellus. Alright, your turn.'

Lily glared at the mention of her best friend, but she couldn't hold it for very long; curiously James was looking at her with a hurt expression; what was his problem?

'Alice.' Lily said, turning on her friend that had suggested to playing this game. 'Truth or dare.'

Alice was suddenly pale. 'Uh- dare.'

'Kiss Frank.' There, now she had gotten the attention off her and now onto the couple that had suddenly gone red as the other boys in the room were suddenly cat-calling.

Marlene grinned and winked at Lily, it was well known among them that Alice and Frank had taken a fancy to each other.

Unlike Marlene, Alice had suddenly taken on a determined expression and kissed him, right there in front of them.

'Can it, Potter.' Alice said shortly to the laughing boy. 'You're next; Truth or Dare.'

'Dare.' James said, without hesitation.

In that millisecond, Lily knew what Alice was up to, Alice knew James would pick dare, Lily knew the next words out of her mouth before she said them.

'Kiss Lily.' Alice's words were full of venom. Sweet, vengeful venom.

The room went quiet, and eyes darted back and forward between the two. The two that fought on a daily basis, the two that rubbed each other the wrong way, the two that hated each other with a passion.

'You're dead, Alice.' Lily stood up and walked behind the stairwell.

James hesitated before following her.

They stood in silence for about ten seconds before Lily gave James a disgruntled look before pulling out her lip balm and moistening her dried lips.

Her hands once again went into her pockets and she rocked on the balls of her feet.

'Will you stop that?' James seized her by the shoulders, and she reflexively looked at him. Confusion clouded his eyes, a mental battle going on inside his own head, but with a deep breath he leant over and kissed her.

It was firm and deliberate and heavier than Lily expected and she quickly pulled back. 'That's enough.' She said, shakily. 'I'm not doing this, this doesn't mean anything, I hate you and this doesn't change anything, I _will_ break your legs and your arms too.' Lily pushed him away and ignoring the stares of her class mates she took off up the stairs.

The last thing she heard was James' disappointed voice echoing around her. 'Nah, she wouldn't let me. Guess I'm going for a swim.'

Lily frowned, that was a complete and utter lie. He had kissed her, but this wasn't any normal kiss. He had been exploring, wanting, it was too much. But as she lay in her bed, pretending to be asleep, her cheeks were coloured, her lips tingled, and she cursed herself and swore to herself that she would not let this get to her.

Potter was an arrogant berk and a jerk to her and her friends, and she would treat him as such. She would not give in to this strange feeling he had stirred in her simply because he kissed her, it's just a stupid meaningless feeling, isn't it?

...

**AN:** Second year, second kiss. I wonder what next year will bring?


	3. Cheater

**Cheater**

Lily was feeling particularly harried as she hadn't had a good week. In fact it had been downright infuriating. Missed classes, extra long assignments, a detention for repeatedly disrupting Defence Against the Dark Arts (or rather, correcting the stupid teacher), she'd been pushed down the steps by a seventh year Slytherin and Severus had gone with his other friends to Hogsmeade even when he said he'd go with her, leaving James Potter to incessantly stalk her for the entire day.

Lily huffed as she stormed down the corridor. The younger students scuttled out of her way, the older pausing to raise their eyebrows at her. She ignored them, ranting under her breath she rounded a corner without looking.

WHAM!

The person Lily had practically body slammed, doubled up and fell onto the flagon floor with a groan.

Lily's bag ripped as it hooked around her unknowing victim's arm and its contents spilled all over the floor as did the stack of paper he had been carrying.

'Oh my goodness!' Lily knelt before the boy, firstly horrified. 'I'm so so... Oh it's you, that's okay then.'

Still clutching his stomach, James spluttered indignantly. 'You've winded me! What did I do to deserve that?'

Lily paused as she had found her lip balm among the papers and, out of habit more than anything else, quickly applied a coat before to seemingly consider James' question. 'You existed.' She said, bluntly.

'Well _excuse_ me, Miss...' James made a Seeker-like grab and suddenly Lily's balm is in his hand.

'Hey!'

'Sugar-Lips?' James scoffed at the brand name.

'Give it!' Lily grabs and suddenly the balm is out of reach – curse his lightning reflexes.

'Nuh-uh, let me look.'

'Give it, jerk!' Lily tossed everything she had picked up and lunged at him, hitting every part of him she could reach. The days' frustrations and the hurt was the force behind every slap, every twist, angry tears fell freely and her assault weakened.

James, who had been sent sprawling for a moment had grappled with her as she swung out. It wasn't until he grasped her shoulders did he have any sort of control and still Lily fought.

Wasn't it obvious he was stronger? To prove this point James flipped her, pinning her to the ground.

Lily didn't take to this very well and snarled.

'Easy Tiger... shhh.'

But Lily didn't want to be shushed, and she didn't like this out of control feeling nor did she like the sudden blush that crawled across her skin at his closeness.

Her mind still clouded with anger, she did what she could to gain control back. She kissed him.

James stiffened in surprise as the hands that so easily abused him before were suddenly trying to wrap around his neck to pull him closer. The taste of hot, wet sugared strawberry lips moving firmly against his own assaulted his senses.

Suddenly there was space between them and, James noted that in the moment he had let his guard down, she had pinned him and charmed his hands to the floor and promptly slapped him, hard. 'Thank _you_' Lily hissed, as she wrenched her balm out of his hand.

'That's cheating, Evans.' James said breathlessly as she non-chalantly collected everything that was hers. 'You little cheat.'

Lily ignored him; he was trying to get a rise out of her and she wouldn't let him. She wasn't going to give him the control back.

'Of course I don't mind so much, Evans, if our fights end like this, you can beat me up anytime.'

Lily turned away, aware of the flush that crept up her neck. She hadn't _meant_ to kiss him at least not like that. She stuffed the last thing in her bag and after a moment of contemplation, unstuck James from the floor.

'Tell anyone and I'll...'

'Break my legs. Gotcha.'

Lily couldn't help but notice a slight disappointment to his tone, but surely she was imagining it. It didn't mean anything. She gave a brief nod before turning away and walking down the passage. She almost reached the end before he called out.

'Hey Sugar-lips, go out with me?'

Lily laughed.

'Was that a yes?'

Lily sighed, it felt good to laugh. 'No!' she called back brightly. 'And if you call me Sugar-Lips one more time I _will_ stick you to the roof of the great hall in naught but your boxers.'

Needless to say, on the very next James Potter was found on the roof in what became his lucky boxes.

**AN: **Sorry that took so long to get out. So much other stuff is happening at the moment!


	4. Stolen

**Stolen**

'... Potter is royal pain in the tush, quite literally, the tool knocked me over on the way here.' Lily gestured to the packed Quidditch stands around them and then shifted in her seat to emphasize her discomfort of having roughly landed on her bottom when she had been knocked over.

'He has no respect for his surroundings, only ever thinking of himself.' Snape snarled. 'I wouldn't be surprised if he expected buildings to move out of his way.'

Flushing slightly Lily turned back to the game. She may have forgotten to mention that someone had pushed Potter and that he had tried to apologise and help her back to her feet, although perhaps suggesting to her that buying her a drink to make up for it was a little bit much and, Lily reminded herself, that was the reason she was cross at him anyway.

'And expects everyone to say 'yes' to him, seriously, he needs to stop asking me out already!'

'What? Since when has he asked you out?'

'Since last year, and he's been incessant and demanding and increasingly annoying.'

'I'll put a stop to it.'

'Oh please, Sev, I can deal with my own problems.'

'You're not going to go out with him, are you?' Severus said, warily.

'What?' Red blossomed in Lily's cheeks. 'Why would I want to go out with that self-absorbed idiot?'

'Promise me you won't!'

'Stop telling me what to do, Sev. I won't, I promise I won't. Let's talk about something else, hey?'

Severus' shoulders visibly relaxed and he nodded his approval.

Lily turned her eyes back to the match and groaned as Ravenclaw scored another goal. 'Come on Hufflepuff, win so we can play Ravenclaw!'

Severus chuckled, 'Don't want to lose to Slytherin do we?'

Lily hesitated before biting out haltingly. 'I want both our houses to get to the finals, if we knock you out next round we'll have another Gryffindor/Hufflepuff final like last year.'

'But what if Slytherin beat Gryffindor in the knockout round?'

'Fat chance, Potter's too good.' The words were out of Lily's mouth before she could stop them and suddenly Severus was glowering at her. 'Sorry, I meant to say that he's too good for your keeper. You need to invest in a new keeper who doesn't swoon at the sight of him.'

'Narcissa Black? She's not that dim...'

'But she is, the reason Gryffindor are kicking everyone's butts are because all the Keepers are female and dim-witted, thinking that if they let James score they'll have a chance with him. If it makes you feel better, Narcissa probably is trying keeping all her pure blood options open.'

Snape scowled. 'Narcissa probably wouldn't want to touch that blood traitor...'

'Excuse me?' Lily frowned at her friend.

Snape flushed. 'It's what she calls him and her cousin.'

'That doesn't mean you have to.' Lily turned away. 'Narcissa's a discriminative bully – GO HAWKINS!'

Snape nearly broke his neck turning around to see the Hufflepuff Seeker diving, seizing the little golden snitch by the wing.

'Ha! See you in the finals... if you can beat Ravenclaw...' Lily grinned at her friend, got to her feet and started off in the direction of her roommates.

'Lily!' Snape called out after her, 'Keep away from Potter!'

'I wouldn't go near him with a ten foot pole!' She called back cheerily.

'Go near whom?' Mary slung an arm around Lily.

'Potter.' Lily replied bluntly.

'Well then we'd better go this way,' Mary pointed away from the crowd, 'Because...'

'Oi, Evans!' James Potter's voice drifted across to them from somewhere behind.

'Quick!' Lily and Mary ducked their heads down in the sea of people and ran as fast as their legs could carry them.

For the rest of the afternoon Lily managed to avoid Potter, only just though, there were a few close calls.

Prefect rounds were normally done in pairs, although Remus had left earlier in the afternoon to visit family and Lily had refused help. Quite happy to wander by herself, Lily sought through the astronomy tower, pausing for a brief moment to look at the clear night's sky. Absentmindedly she applied her lip balm as she marvelled the full moon. It was so clear and full that the grounds were fully bathed in light, you could go for a walk outside and not need a torch.

'Romantic, isn't it?'

Lily jumped and turned.

Blocking the only exit, leaning on the doorframe, was a smirking James Potter.

Lily took a shaky breath. 'What the hell, Potter? It's past curfew! You want to lose house points?'

'Prefects can't dock points.'

'McGonagall will when she sees you've got another detention.' Lily pulled a small black book she always carried with her and wrote his name down in it.

Uncaring, Potter waited silently.

'Go back to the common room, Potter.'

'No.' James had been investigating his nails looked up sharply at her. 'You've been avoiding me.'

'No, I haven't.' Came out of Lily's mouth faster than was necessary and at perhaps an octave higher than normal. She had never really been good with lying.

'Liar.' James scoffed at her feeble attempt.

'I have not.' Lily said, slower and deliberately.

'You climbed out of the girls' toilets window.'

Lily blush, which had been steadily growing, suddenly bloomed across her face.

James smirked and spoke softly. 'Why are you so keen to get away from me?'

'Why are you so keen to follow me?' Lily couldn't keep her nervousness out of her voice and she kicked herself because of it. Potter was trying to talk to her calmly, why does she feel the need to shriek back at him?

'I want to ask you something.'

'No.'

'I haven't even ask you yet.'

'You don't have to! I've told you before, how many times do I have to tell you _I'm not interested in you_. I _hate_ you!'

James' face was unreadable and he took a step closer to her. 'Is that so?'

Lily's 'yes' got stuck in her throat as she found herself between the stone wall and a very serious looking James Potter. He rested his hands on the wall either side of her head; no escape, nowhere to look except directly and indignantly back into his eyes which searched hers.

Curiously, Lily noted, there was flecks of gold and green in his brown eyes... or were they more hazel? So entranced by his eyes, Lily barely heard the whispered 'why?' from James' lips.

'I've told you my reasons. What have I done that's made you so infatuated?' Lily trailed off. She had planned to ask him curtly, not breathlessly. She would not be affected by his closeness, she would not give him that control... Pleasure coursed through Lily's body and it took her several seconds to realise his hands were holding her firmly by the shoulders was already kissing her... and she was kissing him back.

Then suddenly it was over and Lily's mind was spinning.

'Now stop this 'hate' nonsense will you?' James said breathily.

'No.'

James' flew open and met Lily's. Guilt coursed through Lily as she saw the confusion there. But if this was to make him stop, then it was better for him.

'This doesn't mean anything, it never has.' It didn't take much effort for Lily to push the stunned James aside. Swiping angrily at her tingling betraying lips, Lily made her escape.

Walking away, she never saw the tears spring to his eyes, never heard his feeble call for her to come back, never knew his heart broke. But then again, she was focused on pretending she didn't lie.

**AN:** Hey all, sorry this took so long, this was difficult to write for some reason. But hey, I got there :D Yay, updatedness!


	5. Comforter

**Comforter**

Lily is normally a tidy, organised witch. Her wand tucked into a special slip inside her pocket, her books in alphabetical order in her bag, her shirt ironed and tucked, her badge primly on her lapel. Her hair was normally clean and frizz-free (thanks to her own created hair products), and tied back in a neat braid or ponytail. Normally...

Lily stood in front of the mirror in the abandoned girls bathroom, grimacing at her own reflection. Her hair was a mess, her uniform bunched and splattered with ink. Her badge was, for some reason, upside down. Sleeves rolled up, Lily tried desperately to wipe a big ink stain off her nose, only succeeding in smudging it.

With each smudge, Lily had to choke back a sob, until, so frustrated, she tossed the cloth she was using onto the wet floor.

Taking a deep calming breath, Lily bent down to retrieve it, and froze.

For when Lily came into the bathroom she had been more concerned about her appearance, and there, in a watery puddle, lay her book bag.

With a cry, Lily picked it up and tried to shake the water out of it, pulling out her six foot Transfiguration essay in a bid to stop it from getting wet. Too late. It tore clean in half, the latter half falling to the floor, where an ink bottled followed it.

Lily stood, shaking with disbelief before bursting out in hysterical laughter. Dropping her bag back in the puddle and scrunching up the ruined essay and throwing it across the room, Lily herself sat down in the puddle, uncaringly.

Lily leant against the cold sink, threw her head back and picked a few choice words before settling on counting.

She reached thirty seven before she burst into laughter again. Humourless, tired laughter. 'I'm going insane; _I have a freaking wand!_'

Lily pulled out said 'freaking wand' and promptly rescued her books from the water (the essay was beyond repair, but Lily found herself not caring), transfigured a bobby pin into a hair tie and de-inked herself.

Finding herself presentable, she quickly stole a glance at her watch and her stomach sank. She missed dinner. Quickly grabbing a rein on her emotions before she could turn back into the sobbing mess she had been over thirty seven seconds ago.

Lily squared her shoulders and headed back to the common room, not at all looking forward to what would be waiting for her. The few students Lily passed gave her odd looks, but she ignored them, her eyes on the portrait to the common room, her stomach churning; she can do this.

'Hey mudblood! Where you going in such a hurry?' A voice jeered from behind her.

Lily quickened her pace, anger flaring up in her. Avery had already abused her today, she didn't think she would take another. Suddenly her legs were stuck together and she fell to the floor, books scattered. 'Come now, pretty mudblood, why not stop and let me have some fun? You're my favourite toy.'

Lily froze as Avery roughly man-handled her. A new fury took over her, all the frustrations of the day took over her: The letter from Petunia, damning her; the glue bomb she'd walked into, thinking Potter's warnings were just a bluff; receiving detention for dripping glue on Filch's freshly mopped floors; the shouting match with Mary in which everyone had sided against her; the Slytherins cornering her and taunting, slapping and being spat on; having a potion blow up in her face; then having an ink bottle spilt on her; her Transfiguarion paper she had spent several hours on was now destroyed; and now this. Avery thinking he could play with her like a cat might play with a mouse.

'Shush.' Avery seemed to purr at her and placed his hand over her mouth.

Lily bit, hard.

...

James quickly checked the map before clearing it with a whispered "mischief managed". He climbed the last of the stairs and pushed the door open. The loud sniffles reached his ears long before he saw her. The true picture of misery, Lily sat among her scattered books, frizzy locks of hair escaping the hair tie, cheeks shining with unrelenting tears, bottom lip trembling and a fresh bruise on her cheek contrasting against the pale, freckled skin.

Lily didn't notice James at first, not even when he pulled the cloak off. He had to clear his throat before she looked at him, startled.

'Great.' Lily muttered under breath. 'Just what I need.'

'Evans...'

'Go away.' Lily said with as much muster as she could. Her voice crack, her lip threatened to tremble. Lily bit down on it; she was not going to appear weak to _him_.

'Missed you at dinner.' James said casually, ignoring her request, and pulling a mug and a thermos from the basket he had with him. 'Thought you perhaps weren't feeling well.' Forcing the mug into Lily's hand he tipped soup into it. 'You seemed to have had a rotten day, thought perhaps I could make you feel better.'

Tears forgotten, Lily could only stare at James.

Sensing she wasn't going to be talking, James shrugged and nodded at the cup. 'Chicken soup makes me feel better - I haven't spiked it or anything.' James said in alarm at maybe this was why she wasn't drinking it.

A ghost of a smile appeared on Lily's lips, and just to humour him, she sipped it. Her eye closed as the taste of it was glorious.

'Family recipe.' James said, sitting beside her. 'Best chicken soup, ever.'

'That is amazing.' Lily was surprised at how strong her own voice sounded. She took another mouthful, the soup warming her from the inside, relaxing her muscles.

'It is.' James hummed in response. 'Speaking of amazing, would you know anything about the prank someone pulled on Avery?'

Lily scowled and then sipped at the soup to avoid answering the question.

'Was it you that stuck him to the ceiling above the portrait? The excess amount of bubblegum was a nice touch by the way.'

'He tried to pin me down, tried to cop a feel.'

The humour left James' expression and he looked at her in horror.

'Idiot and his idiot friends beat me up this morning – Avery had yelled at me when I ran away that he wasn't done with me yet, I suppose he was following up on his promise.'

'Evans – if I had known...'

'I dealt with it, Potter.' Lily said, polishing off the soup and handing the cup back. 'I can deal with my own problems.'

'You shouldn't have to.' James hesitated then gently brushed the bruise on her face.

Lily winced and turned away. 'I don't need your sympathy.'

'That wasn't all that happened today was it?'

'How would you know?' Lily snapped.

'I saw you and Mary this morning.'

Lily winced and buried her head in her arms. She didn't need that scolding tone from him; she knew that she was in the wrong about that one.

'I also saw what happened in potions...'

Lily shuddered.

'And you're covered in ink – and you're wet, and bruised...'

Suddenly something cold was pushed up against her cheek, soothing the pain from the bruise and Lily heard muttered spells. She was suddenly dry and ink-free, her books suddenly neatly in her bag and then warm hands wrapping her in James' cloak.

It took a moment for Lily to realise she was crying and that she had instinctively clung to James and was now residing comfortably in his lap while hands gently rubbed her back and untangled her hair.

'I'm sorry.' She said, trying to get a grip on herself and pull away.

'Don't apologise.' James' string hands kept her in place, gently taming her hair with his long fingers.

It wasn't until the sobs had resided into sniffles did James loosen his grip on her, allowing her to sit up.

'Oop, missed a bit of ink.' James pulled a hankerchief from his pocket and gently wiped away the remaining ink and tears that was all over her face.

Not quite sure why she was letting him do this and why he felt so comfortable about it (honestly didn't tears deter males?)

'I'm s-'

'_Don't apologise_.'

'Sorry.' Lily laughed at James' disgruntled expression. It was good to laugh. 'I think I'm back to normal.'

'Not quite.'

Lily frowned. She was laughing, the feeling of despair and misery gone. 'What...?'

James had swiped her trusty lip balm from her pocket, took the top off and presented it to her with a flourish.

She gave him a questioning look.

'There isn't a day where I don't see you put this on. You haven't put it on today at all.'

Slightly concerned at how he knew that, Lily took it off him and applied it. It was relieving, the moisturiser stinging her dried lips, replenishing them instantly, the scent and taste of sugared strawberries lingered in the air between them.

James bit back a groan of longing. 'Better?'

'Much. Thank you – sorry...'

'No, stop it.'

Lily looked at his exasperated expression before another emotional wave seemed to wash over her again and she hung her hear, tears once again shining in her eyes.

'I can't do anything right. Can't look after myself, can't defend myself...'

'Evans...'

'Can't even be a good friend, I suck at transfiguration, I've got a stupid brain with stupid hair and stupid freckles...'

'Lily!' James grasped her shoulders so she would look at him. 'You are the brightest witch of our level – don't you dare deny it.'

A single tear escaped from one of Lily's bright eyes and made a track down her cheek, and before she had time to register it, James had leant in and softly kissed it away.

'Your brain is brilliant.' Another soft kiss, this time to her forehead, he bent and buried his face into neck 'Your hair is amazing.' A kiss left at the nape of her neck where her hair hung in ringlets. 'Your freckles are sexy...'

If Lily's growing blush hadn't been obvious before, then it was all too obvious now as James' soft lips pushed to her nose where her freckles were plentiful.

'Beautiful girl.' James murmured against her lips, but then stiffened and then pulled away. 'I'm sorry.' He said hastily. 'I shouldn't...?'

'You shouldn't...' Lily said, breathlessly. She took a quick gulp of breath before repeating it with a bit more conviction and less disappointment (and without nearly adding 'stop' onto the end of her sentence – _dear Merlin, what is _wrong_ with me?_)

The hurt and disappointment that flickered across James' face was quickly covered by one of hardened resolve, with the exception that he couldn't look her in the eyes, which was good for her as well as the molten gold hazel eyes were so intense that it unnerved her.

James carried Lily's books back to the common room and to the bottom of the steps. 'Nothing happened, broken legs and all that jazz.' James said dully, nodding at her before descending the stairs, a couple of steps up he hesitated before turning to look at her. 'Just to let you know Evans, I'm not giving up on you.' James teetered on whether he should say something else before deciding it wasn't the right time and gave her a nod. 'Sweet dreams.' He turned and disappeared into his room.

'Yeah, like I'm going to be able to sleep after that.'

**AN: **Hey, exciting news, I'm moving to go do some study, it might mean this story doesn't get out as quickly though – but it will get there as I have the general plot of all the updates.


	6. Silencer

**Silencer**

Lily watched, stunned as James' fingers just managed to seize the Snitch by the edge of one of its wings. The torturous four hour game over. Gryffindor 250 to Slytherin 350. The first game Gryffindor has lost to Slytherin in five years. The first game Gryffindor has lost under the Captaincy of James Potter. The jeers and joyous noise from the Slytherin stands was defeaning – as it had been when Slytherin pulled out more than 150 in front, as it had been that James had first been knocked off his broom time after time again, his efforts to save the game, lost.

Tired and weary, James' landing was untidy and he fell again. Face red, head down, James pushed aside his teammates who had swooped down to help him up, threw his broom aside and made his way to the gate to get back to the castle.

Sirius rushed his own landing beside him and ran to catch up with James' long determined strides, speaking hurriedly to him and tried to clap a hand on his back, slow him down to a stroll, calm him. What happened next, nobody was prepared for. James reached for his wand, and suddenly with a loud bang, Sirius' hand had flown from its handhold on his mates shoulder and he had stumbled backwards with an expression that immediately jumped from surprise to insulted.

'Prongs!' Peter had called after the form of James Potter 'What was that for?' but the shoulders of the boy were set and made his way forward without so much as a backward glance, nor apology.

Usually after a match, people swarmed around him, lifting him up on shoulders – a display Lily thoroughly disapproved of - but people stayed where they were, even backing away slightly, courteously giving him space, thinking he was angry (he did just blow off his best friends).

However Lily, who could see James clearly from where she sat, realised that the blank emotionless expression on James' face was not hiding anger. His brow furrowed, his eyes set on his feet, Lily knew his concentration was focused on not bursting into tears for everyone to see, but strongly holding it until he was secluded.

Lily stood for a moment, weighing up in her mind whether to let be. Several moments later she decided that she should at least ask Remus as the other Prefect, and as one of James' best friends. With a jolt, Lily suddenly realised that Remus hadn't been at the match, and with another remembered that last night was full moon and quickly hurried of in the direction of the hospital wing

However, Sirius had beaten her to it, and the sound of conversation caused Lily to stop just outside the door.

'Why'd you let him go? You know who he's going to go to!'

'Prongs would take this as proof, Moony, there would be no way I could have stopped him – he threatened to curse me, Moony, not jinx, _curse_ me. Who cares if he's going to...' Sirius came to an abrupt halt mid-sentence.

Lily barely had time to wonder why before Sirius suddenly stepped out the door in front of her, causing her to jump a foot in the air.

Lily cringed and to avoid confrontation, quickly slipped around Sirius and into the hospital wing. 'Hullo Remus, feeling better?'

'Lily! Nice of you to join us, Pad-uh, Sirius was explaining that the Slytherins are dirty cheaters...'

'It was a horrid game. I would have thought Potter would have come back here to tell you.'

Sirius snorted. Lily threw him a look of disdain. 'I saw what happened, and he's not being himself and I was wondering if we as prefects could perhaps check with Potter if everything was alright.'

The nervous glance between Remus and Sirius was not missed by Lily.

'Of course it would be helpful if I knew what you knew...?' Lily trailed off, her rather demanding question hang in the air and was met with silence. 'Okay.' Lily took a breath. 'Alright... where's Potter?'

'Um...' Remus stole a glance at Sirius, 'No idea.'

'Don't give me that drivel, I can tell when you're lying, where is he? Who has he gone to see?'

'You can tell he's lying?' Sirius scoffed.

'Remus couldn't lie to save his life – and Black, you've got this slight tick in your neck. Now stop dodging the question and tell me the truth – where is Potter?'

Sirius' hand clamped over his neck. 'My neck ticks?'

Remus held up his hand in defeat. 'He's gone to see Dumbledore to hand his captaincy badge in...'

'WHAT? He can't do that!' Lily turned heel and fled from the hospital wing.

Remus sighed and looked at Sirius apologetically.

Sirius frowned at his friend. 'My neck ticks?'

'WAIT!' Lily thrust herself through the door without so much as a knock and was only halted by the sight that greeted her. Glass and paper littered the floor, swimming in the ink that spilled from several smashed ink pots. In the middle of it all, James Potter was slouching in a chair, arms crossed and pouting sourly.

'Miss Evans!' Dumbledore's delighted voice and cheery smile threw Lily off for a moment. 'What pleasure do we owe you?'

Lily drew breath. 'I'm here to tell you that James can't possibly quit the Quidditch team – after all he's done for it, all he's done for Gryffindor. This is only one game and it's hardly his fault the Slytherins won, if he hadn't been out there we would have lost by a greater margin and probably lost players to injury. We couldn't possibly win the Quidditch or even the House Cup if he dropped out.' Lily paused to take a breath. 'Please make him stay.'

'Well there you go.' Dumbledores eyes seemed to twinkle at Lily. 'It seems, Mr. Potter, that you will be missed after a...'

'That's beside the point!' James growled.

Lily jumped. No one had ever interrupted the headmaster – nor addressed him in such a tone.

However Dumbledore seemed unperturbed by his rude behaviour. 'I gave you my answer, James, I cannot change it. Now I apologise, but I must excuse myself, I have a teachers meeting to attend to.' Dumbledore breezed past Lily, and winked slyly at her.

James stood, face screwed up, fists clenched and marched out the door.

'Potter! Where are you going?' Lily quickly ran after him.

Four years of prefect patrolling had made Lily a pro at hunting down individuals that didn't want to be found. She'd even caught the Marauders (although most of the time, James wanted to be caught by her), she was quite proud to have been the only person who can catch Sirius Black off guard and once even Peter (she knew he was always with them, but he, for some reason unknown to her, could escape unseen).

But if James Potter wanted to disappear off the face of the earth, then he could. He was trying right now, that much was obvious and after about several minutes of running after that last swish of cloak around the corner, when Lily felt she was finally catching up, she was met with an empty hallway.

Confounded, Lily turned around and surveyed the room. He wouldn't have had time to disappear that quickly would he? Unless... 'Accio Invisibility Cloak!'

Nothing. _Alright, so he blocked me, but I've got one he won't know about._

Lily closed her eyes, pointed her wand to the ceiling and took a deep breath in. The first half of the non-verbal spell caused wind to rush around her and she was airbourne as the wind seemingly blew into her.

Her eyes flew open – only they were made of light and for a split second she could sense every single shape that was around her. Including the figure that was behind her, its hand grabbing for a wand.

Gasping and landing rather heavily on her ankle, she quickly turned around, wand poised. 'Potter...' Lily's voice caught in her throat as her regular vision returned and she came face to face with Sirius Black and his pointed wand. 'You're not Potter.'

'What the hell was that?' Sirius had gone pale, his wand lowered slightly but wary at the fact she still had hers pointed at him.

Lily gave a sigh and stowed her wand in her robes. 'Oh, nothing.'

'Nothing?' Sirius held his wand out at her, afraid she was going to start hovering again. 'You looked like someone had put you under a curse! Why were you doing that... flying...?'

'Put that away!' Lily grabbed Sirius wrist and forced him to put his wand back in his pocket. 'It's a spell that reveals everything in the room, including invisible things.'

'Ah, you think James is going to hang around in his invisibility cloak.' Sirius' slipped back into his casual demeanour as things clicked into place. He clapped a hand around her shoulders. 'Well I've got news for you, sweetheart...'

Lily cast him a scowl and shrugged off his arm.

'That,' he said, pointing, 'Is not a wall.'

Lily stared at what was blatantly a wall. But then again, this was Hogwarts. 'Hidden staircase?'

'You know it sweetheart.'

That arm was back around her shoulders, but this time Lily just sighed and ignored it. 'Why am I chasing Potter? You obviously know your way better around this castle than I do and you're likely to get him to tell you what's going on.'

'Sweetheart, I already know.'

'WHAT? Then why...?'

'Trust me, sweet-'

'Stop calling me that, Black!' Lily snapped. 'My name is Lily Evans.'

'Lily Evans, queen of all bitc-'

'Hey!'

'...es.' Sirius sneered.

Lily was having a hard time not punching him. 'Black.' She snarled

'Evans.' Sirius said, pleasantly.

'Why am I chasing Potter?'

'I thought "Potter" was chasing you? I thought you were running because you're in denial.'

There was a moment where Lily and Sirius glared at each other until Sirius wavered under her piercing glare and instead turned his concentration to a piece of paper he had pulled out of her pocket.

'He's in the astronomy tower.'

'How'd you...?

'Magic, sweetheart.' Sirius shoved the paper back into his pocket before Lily could catch a glance of it. 'But don't freak him out with your style of magic. Be gentle with him, won't you?' And with a rather suggestive wink, Sirius turned heel and left Lily spluttering indignantly.

Lily had been staring at the door to the top floor of the astronomy tower for... how long? Lily checked her watch and suddenly a feeling of horror seeped into her. It was well past curfew.

Suddenly, Lily's prefect sense kicked in and she quickly tidied herself, straightening her uniform, re-tying the strands of hair that had come loose and applied her lip balm liberally. Squaring her shoulders, Lily pushed the door open and was met with the sight an empty room.

However, the sight was deceiving as the sound of someone trying to smother their breathing was painfully obvious. After a moment of deliberation, Lily shut the door securely behind her and made her way to a certain spot on the floor against the wall before casually reaching out beside her and grasping a material that was invisible to the eye.

The material fell away and a defeated looking James Potter appeared. Clucking her tongue at him, Lily neatly folded the invisibility cloak and tucked it into his pocket before settling back into her spot on the floor and leaning against him, gently nudging him. 'Talk to me.'

James remained silent, knees pulled to his chest, his expression caged and his gaze straight ahead, unable to look Lily in the eyes.

'What's going on, James?'

James' jaw tightened and he stared determinedly out the window, trying to blink back angry tears that were threatening to spill. 'You wouldn't understand...'

'Try me.'

James gave a frustrated sigh, and turned his head away from her completely. 'Perhaps I'm overreacting to loosing...'

'This isn't about Quidditch, don't lie to me.'

James' shoulders hunched at Lilys harsher change in tone.

Lily sighed, biting her lip. Sirius voice echoed around her head '_Be gentle._' Well it was kind of hard when he wasn't cooperating - he wasn't even looking at her. 'Look at me.' Lily was suddenly kneeling before him, 'James Potter – look at me.' Her hands pushed any frail attempts to block and she was able to cup his cheeks and force his head so their noses were only centimetres apart.

Lily froze; James looked so vulnerable, so broken.

'I'm sorry.' He murmered, 'I didn't want you to see me like this.'

'Who did this to you?'

'Voldemort.' James cringed at his own words and gave a sigh of defeat. 'I've been receiving notes with threats, we all have, and we all laughed it off. But Lily,' James suddenly seized her by the shoulders, 'He murdered my family Lily, I have lost my cousins, aunts, uncles, and he's threatening the lives of my parents...'

'James...'

'I need to stop him Lil, before he kills them, before anyone else gets in danger...'

'James stop...'

'I know it's me he's after, and he'll keep hurting the people I love until I find him and kill him!'

'Ja...'

'I've got to stop him before he hurts Sirius or Peter or Remus or Mary or...'

'POTTER!' Lily gripped at his shoulders, causing him to jump and look at her in horror.

'Merlin, I need to stop him before he hurts you.' James' grip suddenly tightened and suddenly he looked rather panicked. 'I wouldn't know what to do without you – you've got to swear to me... I, you... can't die, no! Promise me you won't die, I can't live without Lily, I love you too much for you to die.' James suddenly snarled. 'I'll kill him before he so much as glances at you...'

James' words were cut short as his mind went blissfully blank and it took him a moment to realise that he was no longer talking because Lily's sweet lips and tongue were kissing him, hard.

So hard in fact, if there hadn't been a wall right behind him, he would have fallen over from the force. James arms locked around her and he tried to kiss back, but Lily, having a good grip on his head, pulled back. The suction releasing from their lips made a rather wet, satisfying pop.

Lily found herself surrounded by James' strong arms, held in a rather compromising straddling position, but not caring as she leant her forehead on his while they caught their breath that had been quickly stolen.

'What was that for?' James murmured, gently rubbing his nose against hers and tried to reclaim her lips.

Lilys placed her finger on his lips and pushed him back 'To make you shut up.'

James grinned against her finger before slyly kissing it.

Lily lightly slapped him. 'I take it you're feeling better?'

James grin dimmed slightly, but after a moment a genuine smile crawled onto his face. 'Thank you.' He said sincerely. 'I shouldn't have...' James trailed off, the frown threatening to crawl back onto his face.

Lily lightly slapped him again. 'No, you shouldn't – so stop that. You're doing what Voldemort wants you to do. How about you stop listening to his lies and start listening to Dumbledores truths, and your friends who care about you, and me who will break your legs so you can't run away from m-me...' Lilys voice was smothered as James pulled her into a warming hug. Lily buried her head into his Quidditch uniform.

'We're both exhausted,'James murmured, 'I think we really should head to our beds.'

'I think you really need a shower.'

**AN:** TLF won't just stay dead! I have, however, seemingly dropped off the face off the planet – but there was a reason for that, I had lost my usb stick which contain all my stories when I moved house. BUT I FOUND IT, YAY!

Couple of little references in here; firstly about James' temper – I believe he and Harry shared the same destructiveness when angry.

Secondly about how it was mentioned that Sirius and Lily didn't get along for a while so I tried to include that a bit (cause I normally don't)

Thirdly, the ending line is a shout-out to my favourite episode of Futurama; The Sting.


End file.
